Dave’s Take

Television in the 21st century has become much more complicated and confusing than Philo T. Farnsworth ever imagined: digital versus analog; HD versus traditional resolution; LCD versus plasma; cable versus satellite, etc., etc., etc. After decades of offering only one significant improvement, (color versus black and white), today’s TV offerings are almost too much for the average Joe to handle. Just as my elderly next-door neighbor finally decided to go with a flat screen, James Cameron and his ilk have muddied the broadcast waters again with his latest marketing gimmick, 3-D TV.

Driven by the overwhelming success of Avatar, Cameron is now determined to increase his payday by licensing his proprietary 3-D technology to DirecTV, spurring a fast track launch slated for as early as June. Utilizing the buzz of the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas, DirecTV giddily announced its intentions to bring funny colored glasses to living rooms everywhere. The satellite programmer not only publicly proclaimed its intention to broadcast in 3-D, but also disclosed its partnership with Panasonic to develop and release sets based upon its 3-D Viera hi-def platform.

Lest you think 3-D TV will suffer from lack of programming, it won’t. Already, several big name networks have jumped on the new bandwagon, including CBS, NBC, FOX Sports, ESPN, Discovery, MTV, TBS and HDNet. While sports programming is the obvious first choice for the new platform, insiders insist that one day in the near future the majority of network programming will be offered in a PPV 3-D format. Even 3-D Camcorders are ready to roll out at the eyebrow-raising price of $21,000. (But who can place a price on the next America’s Funniest Home Video’s 3-D crotch shot winners?)

All this leads me to wonder if we really need or want our idiot box content delivered in a way that will make us want to hurriedly duck under the couch to avoid a Jeter line drive to center; or to suffer from the massive anxiety a Jack Bauer water boarding session would deliver. As one of the few people left in the galaxy to have not seen Avatar, I am curious as to why 3-D television would be worth the investment. Added to the cost and confusion are the problems associated with having to wear cheesy spectacles for hours at a time. How can the coveted 18-34 demographic multitask on their laptops while squinting through colored lenses?

It will be a fascinating experiment to see how the 2010 MLB All-Star game does when it’s broadcast in 3-D on FOX this summer. God knows this useless spectacle could use some pizzazz, but I don’t know if 3-D is the answer.